(Photo by Mark Daynes via Unsplash)
The idea that after awakening we should only be happy is a false one. While there are moments of bliss, life doesn’t necessarily become blissful. This isn’t about non-stop happiness and bliss, it is about living and knowing the truth of who we are.
In that regard, all emotions are allowed. Frustration, anger, they still arise. The difference is that instead of trying to solve them or change their state, we simply allow the feelings to be. We accept them as they are.
This is very difficult at first for the egomind, who has grown and become very good at solving problems. It’s almost as good at attempting to solve problems as it is at creating them!
When I was seeking, this finding was a bit of a disappointment at first. To realize what I instinctively knew, that I wouldn’t float around two feet above the ground with a perma-grin, felt like finding out that the treasure on a treasure hunt wasn’t a big chest of gold, but a scroll of information about more treasures to be found. I didn’t lose interest, the hunt was fun and my life was “changing” in interesting and amazing ways, but I was now seeking with a new idea of what I was going to find when I finally got it.
This kept me going until I finally found out there was and is nothing to get. Then...frustration! How can this be? How can something explained as so wonderful and freeing be so illusive? How can a setup with no others have something that I clearly don’t?
Frustration and even anger have arisen since. They happen, not as often, not even close. And the big difference is that they’re not as sticky. Often times all it takes is focused awareness to make them dissolve, but the focused awareness is not given to them so they’ll dissolve. It’s not as if the process is “ah! I’m feeling anger right now, let me put my awareness on it so it disappears.” It’s that when you allow everything to be as it is, there is room for anger, sadness, joy, confusion. It’s a party where everyone is on the guest list.
Allowing sadness to be makes things less “sad” somehow. Allowing anger to be as it is makes one less “angry” in the way it existed before. Maybe it builds a little bit, maybe it sticks around longer, but that’s ok too.
There are no guarantees, life doesn’t come with rules on how long emotions stick around. It’s actually one of the most beautiful things about life. Getting to experience emotions, as they happen, for however long they happen, and with no attempt to change them or make them go away, is living life to its fullest. Simply be with whatever arises. 🙏🏼
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